Sunday Revue: butternut squash = yummy

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • all chores after work so I don’t have so much to do at night before bed
  • having a time container for mindlessly surfing the internet
  • getting ready for bed at 9 and going back to my laptop if necessary after
  • having taken time off while Mercury was in retrograde
  • having just one to-do each work-night
  • watching the snow fall : )

Next time I might

  • not having my hawthorn infusion at night, because I stay up too late drinking it

The Hard

  • it hasn’t been very sunny
  • my partner is so scared of colon cancer that he has made a colonoscopy appointment, which I think is wholly unnecessary and dangerous, given that his symptoms have been mild and are probably just gluten intolerance
  • the week went very slowly – Friday felt like a whole extra day

The Good

  • the gastroenterologist my partner saw was actually pretty cool and suggested my partner get some therapy to move through this fear of dying
  • since my partner cut wheat, dairy, and sugar from his diet two weeks ago, his symptoms have gotten way better and he’s felt better
  • significant changes to my working environment have helped my day-to-day be a lot more bearable
  • feeling like maybe, one day, I will earn enough money to be comfortable
  • delicious noms – I made the Lightly Curried Butternut Squash Soup from Good and Cheap – actually never having eaten a butternut squash before – and it was super yummy! (I would only use 1/3 or 1/4 of a teaspoon of cayenne powder, though – even 1/2 was too much.)
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Sunday Revue: time containers

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • having to-dos like “dance for 15 minutes three days this week”
  • doing all my chores after work
  • starting 15 minutes of a task
  • having time containers
  • getting nine hours of sleep on the weekends

Next time I might

  • get some help when it’s midnight and I’m still looking at dance costumes I’m not going to buy

The Hard

  • First World Problem of deciding what to buy on clearance, and then getting overwhelmed and deciding to not buy anything
  • my partner and I were breathing easier with his new job, but then nobody told him about health insurance, and he had to go through the healthcare marketplace and now he’s out almost $300 a month : (
  • my partner has been on a video game binge this weekend and I’m not happy about it

The Good

  • my partner played the piano this weekend, breaking the video game binge and lifting me from my spiraling negative thoughts
  • my partner had convinced himself he had colon cancer, but after not eating wheat, sugar, and dairy for just a week, he’s felt a lot better
  • I got a pair of mittens! My fingers are soooo much warmer
  • no matter how I feel, the fact is I accomplish a lot every day.

Sunday Revue: feeling light

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • saying no again
  • dreaming

Next time I might

  • before bed, do something soothing that doesn’t require a lot of brainpower to get settled

The Hard

  • bored at work
  • my partner is very delicate
  • feeling really sleepy
  • feeling compelled to stay up late because of dopamine hits (thanks Internet) and needing some alone time

The Good

  • keeping my partner always happy is not my responsibility, and I’m really feeling that knowledge this month, and it feels awesome
  • my partner is finding ways to calm himself down; he even said he was going to parent himself the way he wished he would have been parented as a child – and I didn’t even have to introduce that idea, which I’ve read from Bethany Webster
  • yummy noms
  • I made some slippery elm balls for my partner to eat when his stomach is upset – I used 1/3 cup powder to 4 soup spoons of honey, if that helps anyone. Slippery elm smells like brown sugar, mmmm
  • Bakers Creek Heirloom Seeds Catalog came in the maaaaail
  • not being weighed down by the job search
  • building up my savings!

Sunday Revue: solid

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • naps
  • setting up email alerts for jobs on Indeed.com instead of killing myself searching manually
  • listing my projects in order of priority
  • focusing on one project at a time
  • saying no
  • tapping (EFT)

Next time I might

  • leave work when I have a headache goddammit

The Hard

  • the headache that made me throw up
  • feeling dissociated and confused
  • being around people who don’t seem human
  • did I mention U.S. healthcare suuuuuuuuuuuuucks

The Good

  • a huge weight lifted from my shoulders
  • maybe replenishing my savings by selling things I don’t want online
  • Mom had a breakthrough
  • my partner made some dinners this week and that freed up some time for me
  • feeling solid

Sunday Revue: free time!

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • being open to help
  • focusing on one thing at a time
  • deciding to go ahead even though I don’t meet 100% of the requirements
  • welcoming fear
  • forcing Neat Bee (Nip It In The Bud) by removing my “catch-all” container for papers – now I’m forced to file them right away
  • starting with 15 minutes (and it turned into 45)
  • Rally! I held a Rally at home – I was so lucky to have snapped that up from Havi when she offered it (last year, I think)

Next time I might

  • actually feeling pretty great right now

The Hard

  • my partner feeling scared
  • the U.S. healthcare system suuuuuuucks – the Marketplace premiums went up significantly, but most companies are not offering private individual plans at all in 2018, so what can you do? I found something called a medical insurance package that is better than nothing, but it will mean paying the tax penalty because it’s not ACA-approved.

The Good

  • feeling hopeful!
  • having a Plan B that I’m going to do anyway because I want to :)
  • had a great Saturday
  • cleaning a lot and getting a handle on my papers
  • my tomatoes are finally turning red!
  • feeling big and expansive

Sunday Revue: observing

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • crying
  • 15 minutes of some tasks
  • Neat Bee (Nip It In The Bud) for some things
  • being open to help
  • observing, “Okay, it’s interesting that I’m feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts.”

Next time I might

  • write stuff down to get it out of my head

The Hard

  • feeling disassociated
  • people withholding information I need
  • not finding jobs
  • feeling like there are no jobs for introverts
  • steps back at work
  • aches and pains from work

The Good

  • Lady Dynamite season 2 is absolutely hilarious. I have cried laughing each episode.
  • feeling, a little, like I have more money than before
  • two days off for Thanksgiving!
  • I started the American Tribal Style classes over on Datura.com and it’s been nice to feel a sense of progression
  • still working on my game (I’ve heard one feature takes one hour to get working, and boy is that true!!)
  • snuggles with my partner : )

Sunday Revue: the key to everything

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • resting
  • not giving a shit
  • knowing when a line will be crossed
  • expressing a need, kind of on accident, and getting help
  • realizing that I need help
  • stopping when the time was up
  • apologizing

Next time I might

  • realize I’m being triggered and be present instead
  • listen

The Hard

  • steps backward at my job
  • discovered someone in my family hates fat people – a lot – and it was very disturbing to hear them rant angrily about it
  • I got upset with my partner because he triggered my frustration about his depression, when it would have been better to recognize what was happening and welcome that frustration instead of cutting him off and creating a tense situation
  • forgetting Now Is Not Then about money

The Good

  • made some big decisions and took some big steps, and so far, no Big Decision Hangover!
  • some real hope for [secret situation]
  • I apologized to my partner and we’re okay now
  • I started programming a game – well, an interactive experience – and I’m excited about it! I will probably put it online when it’s done.
  • I bought a super-discounted Python Mini-Degree from Zenva and I’m excited about that too (the sale ends at midnight tonight, in case you’re interested)
  • not giving a shit feels awesome and is the key to everything
  • I stuck with a new system about [X] and it worked, and saved me money
  • old-fashioned cornbread without wheat, but with a little sugar, tastes pretty damn good

Sunday Revue: bad circles

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • napping… a lot
  • crying
  • hugs
  • journaling

Next time I might

  • ask the Tarot – what am I missing? How can I move on from these endless circles of searching, starting, stopping, searching?

The Hard

  • feeling really depressed and frustrated with myself
  • I feel like a failure every time X happens, and X happens every weekday.

The Good

  • my partner comforted me (thank you thank you)
  • I made cornbread muffins
  • I got to eat some homemade pumpkin pie
  • I foresee more pumpkin pie in my future : )

Sunday Revue: wishing

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • wishing
  • mind mapping
  • keeping my focus small – my Focus Page really helps because my mind naturally expands into Crazy Plan Town – or rather, Crazy Plan Suburban Sprawl
  • resting
  • extreme self-care
  • Havi’s Secret Circles method for calming down

Next time I might

  • ask better questions

The Hard

  • a very, very difficult meeting
  • my partner doesn’t like planning – he seems to almost be afraid of planning? That can be frustrating because I like to plan and also plans are pretty useful for living
  • waking up and the sun isn’t up yet
  • sliding back into small modes of thinking
  • feeling afraid

The Good

  • accomplished a lot on my art projects (I finished Leda 2.0, finally!) and dance plans
  • I had a day off and it was perfect
  • my family’s emotional support
  • finishing the first season of Stranger Things and feeling inspired by the incredible writing and character development

Sunday Revue: 100th post!

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

Hey check it out, this is my 100th post here!!

What worked

  • doing my shoulder exercise a lot
  • having just one or two Must Dos per day
  • making a decision about time
  • focusing on housework
  • not listening to podcasts this month has reduced my anxiety by a lot

Next time I might

  • look at my Could Dos and Must Dos every day
  • look at my Focus Page every day – I just made this up ^_^ – It’s a page listing just four things I want to focus on for this season
  • leave work when I feel a headache coming on. Just leave.

The Hard

  • ansty and angsty at work
  • some unnecessary stress on others at work is going to bleed onto everyone else
  • feeling fed up with a lot of things

The Good

  • feeling fed up with things means I’m shifting into the right mindset
  • wanting to move towards positive things rather than escape negative things
  • making a schedule change
  • yummy noms!
  • my partner and I started watching Stranger Things and I like it so far – I was convinced I should watch it from the amazing title sequence song, the first theme song that’s ever gotten me to watch a show (have a listen! For an hour, even)

Sunday Revue: Tarot and tomatoes

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

tomatoes1st_feat

What worked

  • Tarot Tarot Tarot! Recent Tarot readings have made things really clear
  • doing a simple exercise to relax my shoulders (see below)
  • entertaining the idea that I avoid people to overcompensate for having weak boundaries
  • naps, resting, not doing
  • focusing on housework
  • journaling more than usual

Next time I might

  • do a Tarot reading for every excruciating situation/problem as soon as I realize it’s a problem

The Hard

  • bored at work
  • feeling the SAD coming on (Seasonal Affective Disorder) – can’t wait for the time change!
  • needing information about X and it’s not happening yet!
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • feeling like having weak boundaries is a character flaw rather than the result of living under multiple oppressive systems

The Good

  • OMG my tomato babies have fruit!! Little adorable green fruits!
    tomatoes1stfruit
  • feeling lighter
  • I tried something new in dance class and my students liked it
  • yummy noms
  • re-watching Over the Garden Wall – such a masterpiece of storytelling *u*

Here’s the shoulder exercise:
Stand close to a wall so your shoulder is next to the wall (you’re perpendicular to the wall, not parallel). Gently press the backs of your knuckles or fingers to the wall for 10 to 20 seconds.

During this time, you’ll feel your shoulder relax, because you’re using muscles in your back and this signals to your shoulder muscles that they’re not needed. Be sure to have equal weight on both feet, and not stretch or curve your spine – just stand straight. You can also do this sitting down and pressing your elbow or forearm against the arm of your chair, as long as your arm is hanging down.

Sunday Revue: magical resting

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • not doing, not thinking, not deciding
  • resting
  • Body First
  • being present
  • recognizing that if X isn’t working for me now, it’s not going to work under times of stress
  • lunch & dinners chart

Next time I might

  • nap even more

The Hard

  • bored and sleepy at work
  • feeling generally sad
  • worried that I’m becoming too sensitive to function when there’s less sunlight

The Good

  • a wonderful Saturday
  • yummy noms
  • my partner finally made it through the worst episode of Voyager so we can move on
  • re-watching Over the Garden Wall and seeing all the foreshadowing!
  • re-reading Havi posts and e-books while I wait for her monthly article
  • got a package in the mail and it was awesome!