Month of Light, welcome

I write a Monthly Passage, which I learned from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self, to let go of last month and enter the new month with intention.

November was tough, but the self care practices I’ve established in the past several months have really built up my reserves, and I feel very hopeful for the future.

What worked

  • one hour of art – not every day, but just making the commitment has helped so much; the perception of progress is very important to me
  • getting used to stretching (like a giraffe!) – holding the discomfort and excitement at the same time, holding the hope and fear together
  • when I’m not afraid, reminding myself “I am not afraid right now”
  • dancing! I almost canceled my Datura Online subscription because I wasn’t using it… how about I start using it again, DUH
  • the Oasis, meditation, and surrounding myself with supportive media
  • getting ready for bed at around 10pm
  • enforcing boundaries!! saying NO to my no
  • journaling up a storm
  • prioritizing, and reassuring my less-important projects that I will get to them when it’s their time
  • not setting an alarm for Sunday morning
  • curiously exploring

Next time I might

  • put more reminders into Google Calendar
  • slow down
  • remember I’m not invisible even when I think I am and want to be
  • let go of what doesn’t serve me
  • forgive myself for feeling afraid
  • speak up
  • be patient

Qualities I want
NEW. Momentum. Discernment. Confidence. Support. Freedom. Boundaries. Expansion.

Things I’m working on

  • art
  • games
  • voice!
  • boundaries
  • getting used to stretching
  • establishing good habits that work for me
  • getting used to visibility
  • being the person I want to be and do what I want to do NOW, not when [someone else’s decision] happens
  • my mother wound
  • being patient

Looking forward to

  • not going to a social event at work
  • using my voice
  • seeing more opportunities
  • more progress on art and games
  • feeling safe

Asking and hoping for

  • time
  • confidence
  • opportunity
  • courage
  • support
  • clear decisiveness
  • my Body telling me what is right and I hear her loud and clear

I’m ready for

  • happiness, light, energy
  • seeing and being seen
  • shedding weight/baggage/things I don’t need
  • stepping into my life

December is the month of Light, according to Havi’s calendar of Doors, and this month’s superpower is Steady Glowing Always.

My monthly Tarot Message is the Knight of Swords, and my deck (Tarot Nova) has the knight riding a bald-headed eagle (usually he’s on a horse). Meanings for the Knight of Swords, according to Tarot Teachings, include:

  • lean and effective
  • valiant, righteous
  • strategic
  • deeds and actions speak louder than words
  • mission for a noble cause
  • “questioning your inclination to proceed is unacceptable”
  • birds symbolize higher level of consciousness, freedom from bondage, make our hearts light

The book I have, The Tarot Directory, says:

  • dramatic change, upheaval
  • new perspectives
  • entering a mind-expanding time
  • able to deal with difficult situations
  • not afraid of conflict
  • the more rational you can be, the easier it will be to resolve things
  • new challenges

Welcome, December! Welcome, Light!