Sunday Revue: qualities are always available

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

I experienced some very intense Deep Listening this week. It was announced at my work that the only person I like there is leaving, and this set off a cascade of emotions and revelations that I never expected.

I am very happy for this person to leave for a job they hopefully will enjoy. But – Realization #1 – I didn’t know how much I relied on hir sunny disposition for getting through the day, and so I thought “What am I going to do now?”

Then I resisted the idea that I would be friends with hir outside of work; since I dislike my work so much, I thought that I liked this person only because ze seems so nice in contrast to the rest of the environment. But – Realization #2 – it is totally okay to like hir in any context!

Then – Realization #3 – I remembered that any qualities I gravitate to in other people are qualities I have myself, no matter how undeveloped. And because this person’s qualities are inside me, I can access them any time.

So I will still miss this person very much, but having gone through this intense emotional workout this week, I will be able to handle hir absence a lot better.

What worked this week

  • squeezing my fingertips to bring myself into the present moment
  • journaling like crazy
  • Deep Listening
  • giving legitimacy to all my feelings
  • remembering All Timing Is Right Timing
  • doing Colleena Shakti’s tadasana almost every day when I get home
  • doing 10 minutes of lots of things

Next time I might
Actually I did as well as could be expected this week.

The Hard

  • all feelings related to the person I like leaving
  • driving in a very scary rainstorm

The Good

  • all the revelations and self-fluency that came out of the person I like leaving
  • I didn’t die in the rainstorm
  • painting
  • doing consistent body work
  • getting lots done
  • finding a good beginner game programming manual from Mozilla – 2D breakout game using pure Javascript – and rocking it