Sunday Revue: feeling light

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • saying no again
  • dreaming

Next time I might

  • before bed, do something soothing that doesn’t require a lot of brainpower to get settled

The Hard

  • bored at work
  • my partner is very delicate
  • feeling really sleepy
  • feeling compelled to stay up late because of dopamine hits (thanks Internet) and needing some alone time

The Good

  • keeping my partner always happy is not my responsibility, and I’m really feeling that knowledge this month, and it feels awesome
  • my partner is finding ways to calm himself down; he even said he was going to parent himself the way he wished he would have been parented as a child – and I didn’t even have to introduce that idea, which I’ve read from Bethany Webster
  • yummy noms
  • I made some slippery elm balls for my partner to eat when his stomach is upset – I used 1/3 cup powder to 4 soup spoons of honey, if that helps anyone. Slippery elm smells like brown sugar, mmmm
  • Bakers Creek Heirloom Seeds Catalog came in the maaaaail
  • not being weighed down by the job search
  • building up my savings!
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Radical rest in December

I write a Monthly Passage, which I learned from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self, to let go of last month and enter the new month with intention.

What worked in November

  • napping a lot
  • crying a lot
  • hugs
  • making a compass
  • asking for help
  • 15 minutes of some tasks
  • forcing Neat Bee (Nip It In The Bud)
  • cultivating my Inner Observer
  • focusing on one thing at a time – helped immensely
  • going ahead even though I’m not 100% perfect
  • I held a Rally!
  • welcoming fear
  • remembering my messages from the Tarot

Next time I might

  • focus on one thing at a time – always
  • ask the Tarot sooner – always!
  • listen
  • write stuff down to get it out of my head

Qualities I want for December
Rest. Light. Focus. Solid Ground. Sovereign As Hell. Always Safe.

Superpower I want
Tenacious Monk.

Things I’m working on

  • building up my savings, possibly by selling things I don’t want
  • still welcoming help
  • resting like it’s my job

Looking forward to

  • maybe a new job (but I’m just proud of myself for applying, especially because they’re long shots)
  • my mom feeling better

Asking and hoping for

  • the peace I feel now to extend the whole month long
  • help

I’m ready for

  • new
  • settling into Always Safe

Tarot Message
I got two – the Emperor popped out, but I decided to draw another one, which was the Devil. They are just what I need right now.

The Emperor

  • authority
  • worldly success
  • stablity
  • structure
  • focus
  • set boundaries
  • grounding
  • follow your goals methodically

The Devil

  • potential in our most hidden parts of self
  • remove blockages by exposing them
  • “we’re blind to our own beauty”
  • illusion
  • enslavement
  • feeling trapped, empty, and unfulfilled
  • duality

My Tarot resources are The Tarot Directory, Tarot Teachings, and Labyrinthos Academy.

Sunday Revue: solid

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • naps
  • setting up email alerts for jobs on Indeed.com instead of killing myself searching manually
  • listing my projects in order of priority
  • focusing on one project at a time
  • saying no
  • tapping (EFT)

Next time I might

  • leave work when I have a headache goddammit

The Hard

  • the headache that made me throw up
  • feeling dissociated and confused
  • being around people who don’t seem human
  • did I mention U.S. healthcare suuuuuuuuuuuuucks

The Good

  • a huge weight lifted from my shoulders
  • maybe replenishing my savings by selling things I don’t want online
  • Mom had a breakthrough
  • my partner made some dinners this week and that freed up some time for me
  • feeling solid

Sunday Revue: free time!

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • being open to help
  • focusing on one thing at a time
  • deciding to go ahead even though I don’t meet 100% of the requirements
  • welcoming fear
  • forcing Neat Bee (Nip It In The Bud) by removing my “catch-all” container for papers – now I’m forced to file them right away
  • starting with 15 minutes (and it turned into 45)
  • Rally! I held a Rally at home – I was so lucky to have snapped that up from Havi when she offered it (last year, I think)

Next time I might

  • actually feeling pretty great right now

The Hard

  • my partner feeling scared
  • the U.S. healthcare system suuuuuuucks – the Marketplace premiums went up significantly, but most companies are not offering private individual plans at all in 2018, so what can you do? I found something called a medical insurance package that is better than nothing, but it will mean paying the tax penalty because it’s not ACA-approved.

The Good

  • feeling hopeful!
  • having a Plan B that I’m going to do anyway because I want to :)
  • had a great Saturday
  • cleaning a lot and getting a handle on my papers
  • my tomatoes are finally turning red!
  • feeling big and expansive

Sunday Revue: observing

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • crying
  • 15 minutes of some tasks
  • Neat Bee (Nip It In The Bud) for some things
  • being open to help
  • observing, “Okay, it’s interesting that I’m feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts.”

Next time I might

  • write stuff down to get it out of my head

The Hard

  • feeling disassociated
  • people withholding information I need
  • not finding jobs
  • feeling like there are no jobs for introverts
  • steps back at work
  • aches and pains from work

The Good

  • Lady Dynamite season 2 is absolutely hilarious. I have cried laughing each episode.
  • feeling, a little, like I have more money than before
  • two days off for Thanksgiving!
  • I started the American Tribal Style classes over on Datura.com and it’s been nice to feel a sense of progression
  • still working on my game (I’ve heard one feature takes one hour to get working, and boy is that true!!)
  • snuggles with my partner : )

Sunday Revue: the key to everything

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • resting
  • not giving a shit
  • knowing when a line will be crossed
  • expressing a need, kind of on accident, and getting help
  • realizing that I need help
  • stopping when the time was up
  • apologizing

Next time I might

  • realize I’m being triggered and be present instead
  • listen

The Hard

  • steps backward at my job
  • discovered someone in my family hates fat people – a lot – and it was very disturbing to hear them rant angrily about it
  • I got upset with my partner because he triggered my frustration about his depression, when it would have been better to recognize what was happening and welcome that frustration instead of cutting him off and creating a tense situation
  • forgetting Now Is Not Then about money

The Good

  • made some big decisions and took some big steps, and so far, no Big Decision Hangover!
  • some real hope for [secret situation]
  • I apologized to my partner and we’re okay now
  • I started programming a game – well, an interactive experience – and I’m excited about it! I will probably put it online when it’s done.
  • I bought a super-discounted Python Mini-Degree from Zenva and I’m excited about that too (the sale ends at midnight tonight, in case you’re interested)
  • not giving a shit feels awesome and is the key to everything
  • I stuck with a new system about [X] and it worked, and saved me money
  • old-fashioned cornbread without wheat, but with a little sugar, tastes pretty damn good

Sunday Revue: bad circles

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • napping… a lot
  • crying
  • hugs
  • journaling

Next time I might

  • ask the Tarot – what am I missing? How can I move on from these endless circles of searching, starting, stopping, searching?

The Hard

  • feeling really depressed and frustrated with myself
  • I feel like a failure every time X happens, and X happens every weekday.

The Good

  • my partner comforted me (thank you thank you)
  • I made cornbread muffins
  • I got to eat some homemade pumpkin pie
  • I foresee more pumpkin pie in my future : )

Meaning in November

I write a Monthly Passage, which I learned from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self, to let go of last month and enter the new month with intention.

Havi’s Quality for November is Meaning but I also had signs pointing me to meaning for this month, one coming from an unexpected and super ironic source.

What worked in October

  • rest, naps, and more naps
  • not thinking about my business… much
  • not listening to podcasts
  • Body First
  • being present
  • remembering legitimacy
  • wishing
  • imagining my life if X, Y, and Z weren’t factors
  • Tarot readings
  • relaxation exercises
  • mind-mapping
  • extreme self-care

Next time I might

  • look at my Focus Page every day
  • not staying up till midnight doing [stressful activity]

Qualities for November
Meaning. Soft. Center. Open.

Things I’m working on

  • uncovering the meaning of my biz
  • income stuff
  • housework

Looking forward to

  • holidays off
  • maybe getting some more income
  • Havi is posting more, so more Havi posts!

Asking and hoping for

  • courage
  • seeing opportunity
  • following opportunity

I’m ready for

  • meaning
  • a lifestyle that supports my works

Tarot Message
The Tower
– whaaaat, I never get the Tower. But I am totally fine with this card. I’m exited about the opportunity that emerges from losing what doesn’t serve me.

  • abrupt change
  • jolt us back to life
  • blessing in disguise
  • build new structures that support you
  • live authentically
  • revelation

My Tarot resources are The Tarot Directory, Tarot Teachings, and Labyrinthos Academy.

Tarot Feature: Golden Thread Tarot

Photo by Benebell Wen

The design of the deck was inspired by the concept of the night, and the archetype of a single string that connected all things within the universe, threading images in a murky unknown.

I have this deck and I love it! If you order it, you will be delighted by the thank you message, and further delighted when it comes in the mail in supremely stylish packaging.

How I found it: Tina Gong, illustrator of the Golden Thread Tarot and founder of Labyrinthos Academy, was the focus of an episode of the Side Hustle School podcast. After listening, I immediately looked her up and was tickled to see such cute, compelling, and well-composed designs. The cardstock, which is gold foil on matte recycled plastic, feels great in my hands and I can actually shuffle the cards like a deck of regular playing cards (which I can’t do with my other deck, Tarot Nova).

goldenthread1

Photo by Benebell Wen

Her philosophy of Tarot as a tool for self-knowledge and self-development matches my own:

We don’t believe in divination.
Tarot is your mirror.
What you read and interpret is a reflection of your own inner world.

Photo by me

Like the International Icon Tarot, this deck’s simplicity enhances the symbols and meanings of each card. The geometric style could have easily felt too modern or techy, but it just doesn’t. From a design standpoint, it’s very well done. I love Gong’s use of repeating lines and how she often breaks the rectangle frame and takes lines to the edge of the card.

goldenthread_queens

LOVE the queens!

I have to say that, while I love to look at all of my featured Tarot decks, this one really touches me on a subconscious level – the designs tap deep into the basic symbols of (primarily) Western cultures and hit me right away. Tina Gong, you nailed it!

How many eyes do you NEED

LOVE LOVE

The Hermit

Look at the little slimes!

The Star

Notice she replaced the traditional symbols in the corners with symbols of the suits

I’m not one to download apps, but I may just download one of the free-forever Tarot apps to learn card meanings. There are three apps and they all look great, especially the Golden Thread one.

Along with the deck, I got the Map of the Universe altar cloth, which is a four-foot square silk cloth featuring the Zodiac signs, night and day, above and below, and the center. You can use the cloth for spreads, but I’m going to wear it : )

Links:

(crossposted at Sketch by Sketch)

Sunday Revue: wishing

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

What worked

  • wishing
  • mind mapping
  • keeping my focus small – my Focus Page really helps because my mind naturally expands into Crazy Plan Town – or rather, Crazy Plan Suburban Sprawl
  • resting
  • extreme self-care
  • Havi’s Secret Circles method for calming down

Next time I might

  • ask better questions

The Hard

  • a very, very difficult meeting
  • my partner doesn’t like planning – he seems to almost be afraid of planning? That can be frustrating because I like to plan and also plans are pretty useful for living
  • waking up and the sun isn’t up yet
  • sliding back into small modes of thinking
  • feeling afraid

The Good

  • accomplished a lot on my art projects (I finished Leda 2.0, finally!) and dance plans
  • I had a day off and it was perfect
  • my family’s emotional support
  • finishing the first season of Stranger Things and feeling inspired by the incredible writing and character development

Sunday Revue: 100th post!

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

Hey check it out, this is my 100th post here!!

What worked

  • doing my shoulder exercise a lot
  • having just one or two Must Dos per day
  • making a decision about time
  • focusing on housework
  • not listening to podcasts this month has reduced my anxiety by a lot

Next time I might

  • look at my Could Dos and Must Dos every day
  • look at my Focus Page every day – I just made this up ^_^ – It’s a page listing just four things I want to focus on for this season
  • leave work when I feel a headache coming on. Just leave.

The Hard

  • ansty and angsty at work
  • some unnecessary stress on others at work is going to bleed onto everyone else
  • feeling fed up with a lot of things

The Good

  • feeling fed up with things means I’m shifting into the right mindset
  • wanting to move towards positive things rather than escape negative things
  • making a schedule change
  • yummy noms!
  • my partner and I started watching Stranger Things and I like it so far – I was convinced I should watch it from the amazing title sequence song, the first theme song that’s ever gotten me to watch a show (have a listen! For an hour, even)

Sunday Revue: Tarot and tomatoes

Every Sunday I revue – the fun kind of review – the past week. I base this on the old style Friday Chicken from Havi’s blog at The Fluent Self.

tomatoes1st_feat

What worked

  • Tarot Tarot Tarot! Recent Tarot readings have made things really clear
  • doing a simple exercise to relax my shoulders (see below)
  • entertaining the idea that I avoid people to overcompensate for having weak boundaries
  • naps, resting, not doing
  • focusing on housework
  • journaling more than usual

Next time I might

  • do a Tarot reading for every excruciating situation/problem as soon as I realize it’s a problem

The Hard

  • bored at work
  • feeling the SAD coming on (Seasonal Affective Disorder) – can’t wait for the time change!
  • needing information about X and it’s not happening yet!
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • feeling like having weak boundaries is a character flaw rather than the result of living under multiple oppressive systems

The Good

  • OMG my tomato babies have fruit!! Little adorable green fruits!
    tomatoes1stfruit
  • feeling lighter
  • I tried something new in dance class and my students liked it
  • yummy noms
  • re-watching Over the Garden Wall – such a masterpiece of storytelling *u*

Here’s the shoulder exercise:
Stand close to a wall so your shoulder is next to the wall (you’re perpendicular to the wall, not parallel). Gently press the backs of your knuckles or fingers to the wall for 10 to 20 seconds.

During this time, you’ll feel your shoulder relax, because you’re using muscles in your back and this signals to your shoulder muscles that they’re not needed. Be sure to have equal weight on both feet, and not stretch or curve your spine – just stand straight. You can also do this sitting down and pressing your elbow or forearm against the arm of your chair, as long as your arm is hanging down.